Serendeputy - your personal news assistant.

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What a silly news day it has been, what with learning that Future Permanent Queen Of America Hillary Clinton still has to load one of those free AOL disks every time she wants to do either diplomacy or lunch with a foreign official, and that awful warmonger,...
From: Wonkette | By: Evan Hurst | Tuesday, March 3, 2015
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So the weed has been legal in Colorado for, like, a year now, which affords us the opportunity to analyze how much of it Coloradans — or at least, those who can access legal weed, since only 67 of the state’s 321 jurisdictions permit it, but OK,...
From: Wonkette | By: Florida Correspondent | Tuesday, March 3, 2015
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Let’s say you went to a corrupt for-profit college that engaged in fraudulent recruiting practices, spent more on advertising than education, and was eventually shut down by the government for noncompliance with requests for data on graduation rates...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Monday, March 2, 2015
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So Senate Republicans have a shiny new thing they’re calling the Congressional Review Act on Ambush Elections (S.J. Res. 8), and it’s terrible and dumb because of course it is. The resolution would prevent the National Labor Relations Board from...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Wednesday, March 4, 2015
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See that handsome fellow up there? That is Florida state Rep. Frank Artiles, R-Of Course, who is absolutely not an aggro meathead who has a thing for transgedner folks (a hate thing, not that kind of a thing, probably) and punching college students in...
From: Wonkette | By: Florida Correspondent | Wednesday, March 4, 2015
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A group that calls itself the Coalition of African-American Pastors has finally found a freedom fighter worthy of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s legacy, and it is the holistically bigoted Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore, he who has been heroically...
From: Wonkette | By: Evan Hurst | Wednesday, March 4, 2015
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Broken-brained Glenn Beck is sad for America. Again. Why are you sad this time, Glenn? It is because some people who hate the United States of Israel said they would not listen to the Tuesday address by Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to Congress,...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Wednesday, March 4, 2015
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Never one to miss the chance to make a tragedy just a little more awful, Colorado wingnut preacher/state legislator Gordon “Disgraced former chaplain ‘Dr. Chaps'” Klingenschmitt has decided that the terrible murder of three Muslim students in Chapel...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Wednesday, March 4, 2015
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In an enormous surprise to nobody who saw it fail miserably in Florida, it turns out that drug-testing applicants for welfare doesn’t work well anywhere else, either. Think Progress reviewed the seven states that currently require applicants for Temporary...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Wednesday, March 4, 2015
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Brain doctor and conservative heartthrob hero Ben Carson has some real neat ideas on The Gay and how that works (it is all explained by “prison sex”), and you have to take his word for it because he is an actual doctor and A Expert on science stuff....
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Wednesday, March 4, 2015
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From Refutations to Anti-Vaccine Memes. A Texas new-age gun fetishist says that the term “anti-vaxxer” is a slur and compares it to calling black people the N-word and gay people the F-word. Fucking white people, man. Read more on Calling Someone...
From: Wonkette | By: Fare la Volpe | Wednesday, March 4, 2015
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Sen. Lindsey Graham, South Carolina’s most genteel gentleman and apparently the bastard son of John McCain (who knew?), has been testing the waters “to look beyond South Carolina as to whether or not a guy like Lindsey Graham has a viable path”...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Wednesday, March 4, 2015
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Arkansas state Rep. Justin Harris seems like a pretty godly kind of guy. Last week, the Republican from West Fork, Arkansas, was very sad when the House Education Committee voted down a bill he’d introduced to ban schools from punishing children for...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Wednesday, March 4, 2015
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Today, the Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in King v. Burwell, a case challenging the legality of the federal subsidy provision of the ACA, because rather than just having a robust legislative debate culminating in a law, and then moving on with...
From: Wonkette | By: Virginia Blue | Wednesday, March 4, 2015
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Apparently Chief Justice Roy Moore and his ‘Bama Supreme Court judge pals, all of whom are clear examples of why judges should not be elected, and all of whom should be fired, would prefer that the United States Supreme Court have to stick its foot...
From: Wonkette | By: Evan Hurst | Wednesday, March 4, 2015
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Those Duggars, all trillionteen of them, are super tight with Jesus, as we know from their reality teevee show and occasional stumping for Republican candidates. And Jesus, apparently, was totes down with torturing animals, for the LOLZ! Derick Dillard,...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Wednesday, March 4, 2015
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While we were still busy fuming over the hosannas being tossed at this asshole by a bunch of cock-gobbling cum muffins, the House actually managed to do something worthwhile: It passed a clean funding bill for the Department of Homeland Security. So...
From: Wonkette | By: Gary Legum | Tuesday, March 3, 2015
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While Vulcans would never stoop to the human emotional response of laughter, we know that Spock would wryly raise an eyebrow in appreciation of the absurdity (no, not irony, don’t you dare say it was ironic) of the Westboro Baptist Church’s failure...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Tuesday, March 3, 2015
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The University of Iowa has urged faculty members to let students miss or re-take tests if they were upset over some campus art that was SUPER RACIST (because it addressed racism). Apparently some students were so broken up over either the artwork itself...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Tuesday, March 3, 2015
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Bibi Netanyahu came to Capitol Hill on Tuesday to deliver his much-anticipated speech to Congress. (No we will not embed it here because we love you.) Wonkette’s Los Angeles bureau rolled out of bed early to watch it, because there is nothing we like...
From: Wonkette | By: Gary Legum | Tuesday, March 3, 2015
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Great All-American Hero War-Winnin’ Savior and former CIA director Gen. David Petraeus has admitted to pillow-talking classified information into his mistress’s ear, which is against the law, it turns out, who knew? But, despite our gleeful prediction...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Tuesday, March 3, 2015
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You’ve got to at least respect the cunning of the oil industry buddies in Congress who are pushing a pair of bills aimed at restricting the EPA: They’ve given their bills names that Frank Luntz would just love — the “Secret Science Reform Act”...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Tuesday, March 3, 2015
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The New York Times reported an explosive breaking exclusive ZOMG! Clinton scandal on Monday night, so turn on the Drudge Siren and grab your splooge sock because CLINTON SCANDAL!!!! Hillary Rodham Clinton exclusively used a personal email account to...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Tuesday, March 3, 2015
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Last night, the Southern town of Charlotte, North Carolina, did a real big stupid, failing to pass an anti-discrimination ordinance that would add LGBT people to the list of protected groups. Wingnut opponents of the ordinance, of course, were most...
From: Wonkette | By: Evan Hurst | Tuesday, March 3, 2015
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Idaho state Sen. Steve Vick is all in favor of the First Amendment and freedom and stuff, but that doesn’t mean he has to sit and put up with it when a Hindu cleric gives the invocation at today’s session of the state Senate, which is why he plans...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Tuesday, March 3, 2015
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Pop quiz: What do you do if you’re the last vestige of Lehman Brothers, the banking and investment company whose demise was the biggest bankruptcy filing in U.S. history and now you’re in the post-bankruptcy process of slowly unraveling the clusterfuck...
From: Wonkette | By: Virginia Blue | Tuesday, March 3, 2015
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Is everybody amped for Bibi’s Big Bloviation today? Tea Party “radio” host and WorldNetDaily contributor Andrea Shea King sure is. She happens to know exactly how important it is for all members of Congress to attend Netanyahu’s speech, in fact:...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Tuesday, March 3, 2015
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The civil war in the Republican Party is getting a lot uglier, which is excellent news if you enjoy watching Republicans try to eat each other’s intestines with their bare hands, no utensils or a bib even. And yup, we sure do enjoy the hell out of...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Tuesday, March 3, 2015
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Wonkette is a force for good in the world, it has been proven! On Friday, we had the story of former Arizona sheriff guy Richard Mack, a wingnut Oath Keeper, who has also been a very public opponent of the tyrannical reach-around that is Obamacare. Mack...
From: Wonkette | By: Evan Hurst | Monday, March 2, 2015
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Sunday was a lovely day in Los Angeles, unless you were the homeless guy on downtown’s Skid Row scuffling with LAPD officers who shot and killed you while holding you down on the sidewalk. Then maybe your day was not so good. Read more on LAPD Probably...
From: Wonkette | By: Gary Legum | Monday, March 2, 2015
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Televangelist conman-for-Jesus crazy mofo Pat Robertson has scammed a lot of money over the years by offering “the Lord’s” pro-tips on his teevee show, the 700 Club. We could devote 29 hours a day to watching him and trying to make jokes for you...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Monday, March 2, 2015
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The Liberal Media tried to Gotcha! Conservahero Ben Carson again this weekend, and once more he escaped the Logic Snares set for him by secularist tricksters. He is not going to fall for your little traps, LIEberals! On NBC’s Meet the Press Sunday,...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Monday, March 2, 2015
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Guys, do you remember Christine Weick? Of course you remember Christine Weick. Christine Weick is the nice and not at all bugshit crazy American Patriot who drives around in her SUV from town to town — she is NOT HOMELESS, SHUT UP, SHE HAS A BANK ACCOUNT...
From: Wonkette | By: Florida Correspondent | Monday, March 2, 2015
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Sad news for those of us who like FeistyTM (that’s the obligatory adjective for chicks who don’t take no crap) lady Democrats in the Senate: Maryland Democrat Barbara Mikulski will not seek a sixth term in the Senate in 2016. […] Read more on Hell-Raising...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Monday, March 2, 2015
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If you loved last week’s edge-of-your-seat excitement about whether the Republican-controlled Congress would do its job and pass a bill funding the Department of Homeland Security, like a bunch of elected legislators whose job is to keep government...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Monday, March 2, 2015
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Gay-bashing bigot twins Jason and David Benham have officially become gay reparative therapists, and all it took was the magic of baseball. Taking bets in the comments on which one’s the pitcher. Read more on Aryan Bigot Twins Tell Totally Real Story...
From: Wonkette | By: Fare la Volpe | Monday, March 2, 2015
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Just in case the Supreme Court strikes down Obamacare’s subsidies for people who bought health insurance on the federal exchange, three Republican senators have written an important Op-Ed in the Washington Post to reassure Americans that “We have...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Monday, March 2, 2015
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Oh my goodness, were you Wonkers on the internet this weekend? We were (a little bit, not really, kinda hazy) and apparently “Saturday Night Live” made a joke about ISIS and how there is apparently an EPIDEMIC of American Girls joining up to...
From: Wonkette | By: Evan Hurst | Monday, March 2, 2015
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Scott Walker was out proving his foreign policy expertise again this weekend, Wisconsplaining how not knowing diddly about those foreigns isn’t really all that important as long as you have the mental toughness to break a union or two. For instance,...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Monday, March 2, 2015
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We at Wonkette like a little mystery from time to time, and if that mystery includes an elusive lawyer with almost no internet footprint who files a crazy ass ballot initiative in California once every 10 years, so much the better! At this point, we...
From: Wonkette | By: Virginia Blue | Monday, March 2, 2015
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For a guy who claims to be the hugest Star Trek fan in this galaxy or any other, Oregon state Rep. Bill Post is kind of a moron. After we learned last week of the death of Leonard Nimoy (not a Republican), who played the beloved (but, ahem, fictional)...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Monday, March 2, 2015
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