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Here’s a fun fact you already knew, but now there is math to back it up. That Republican Senate bill to salvage Obamacare tax subsidies (while still gutting other parts of Obamacare), just in case the Supreme Court overturns them and every single...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Thursday, May 28, 2015
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Meet your new favorite judge in America, Wonkers! He is Nome Superior Court Judge Timothy Dooley, and he is being officially reprimanded by the Alaska Commission On Judicial Conduct, just because he has a habit of saying some very colorful things about...
From: Wonkette | By: Evan Hurst | Thursday, May 28, 2015
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Sen. Ted Cruz (R-United States of Texas) hates the federal government, and he is going to kill it so hard, right in its stupid federal face, when he becomes the president of it. He has a plan to abolish the IRS and deport all of its agents to the border;...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Thursday, May 28, 2015
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With all the revelations of the past week that Josh Duggar, eldest son of Jim Bob and the Clown Car Vagina, molested five girls that we know of, including four of his sisters, when he was a teenager, one would think this might be a moment for TLC to...
From: Wonkette | By: Evan Hurst | Thursday, May 28, 2015
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In yet another attempt to convince people who aren’t paying attention that he’s a totally different kind of Republican, Rand Paul has come out as a self-proclaimed “tree hugger” who thinks composting is groovy and that clean air and water are...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Wednesday, May 27, 2015
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Just in case you weren’t nervous enough about the dangers of this bad old world, NBC brings us a scary story about a 2014 report by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives on attempts by outlaw motorcycle gangs (OMGs) to recruit former...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Wednesday, May 27, 2015
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So yeah. The dark secret not detailed in the indictment against former Republican House Speaker Denny Hastert, for allegedly agreeing to pay “Individual A” $3.5 million to keep his dark secret a secret and lying to the FBI about it? The details of...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Friday, May 29, 2015
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Oh no, the slippery slope the religious right has been warning us about for decades is real! Boys marrying boys, cowboys marrying horses, cowgirls marrying toasters, and now, in Pennsylvania, a father has gone and married his own son. BUT WAIT, stop...
From: Wonkette | By: Evan Hurst | Friday, May 29, 2015
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So a short while back that feels like a million years ago now, we quite presciently told you Josh Duggar proves “reality shows are bad, the Duggars are the worst, bigots are terrible, and don’t homeschool your kids.” And that was before we knew...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Friday, May 29, 2015
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Poor ol’ Rick Santorum is already having a hard time keeping up with the Conservaherd in the Great 2016 Republican Coronation Scramble. Just look at his lame, thoroughly derivative attempt to ignore climate science during a Thursday event in Des Moines,...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Friday, May 29, 2015
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Hey, remember how when Jim Bob Duggar found out that his son Josh was sex criming his daughters, he took Josh to a state trooper pal of his, Cpl. Joseph Hutchens, to get a “very stern talk” about how sex criming is bad? And remember how Hutchens...
From: Wonkette | By: Evan Hurst | Friday, May 29, 2015
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Back when Republican Denny Hastert was Speaker of the House — before he became a lobbyist and before he was indicted for paying someone a whole lot of hush money to cover up “prior misconduct,” whatever that means, we are terrified to find out...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Friday, May 29, 2015
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In what’s expected to be a terrific day for both the First and Second Amendments, several hundred armed idiots are expected to show up for a rally and “Draw Muhammad Cartoon Contest” outside a mosque in Phoenix Friday evening. The event’s Facebook...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Friday, May 29, 2015
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We’ve learned so much about the Duggars in the past couple weeks! Of course, we now know, in grisly detail, about how Josh Duggar molested five girls, four of whom were also his co-stars on TLC’s 19 Kids And Counting, i.e., his sisters. We’ve...
From: Wonkette | By: Evan Hurst | Friday, May 29, 2015
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Once upon a time, while the Republican Party was trying to recover from its self-inflicted wounds after its disastrous impeachment trial of President Bill Clinton for getting an extramarital hummer, conservative evangelical Illinois Republican Dennis...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Friday, May 29, 2015
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Another Responsible American with a Gun has done her part to beep the nation safe from ISIS terrorists: A twitchy 48-year-old lady in the Minneapolis suburb of Maple Grove, Minnesota, pulled what appeared to be a rifle — it turned out to be a pellet...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Friday, May 29, 2015
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Let’s Make A Stupid about Hillary Clinton, with the cast of teevee’s Fox & Friends. You see, Wednesday, Hillary Clinton spoke in South Carolina, and not only did she make a joke about how her hair won’t go white in the White House, because...
From: Wonkette | By: Evan Hurst | Friday, May 29, 2015
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From the august pages of our nation’s newspaper of record, which always keeps us apprised of the national zeitgeist — like how Jeb Bush doesn’t eat enough fatty foods for Real Americans to vote for him, and some little boys don’t like wearing...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Friday, May 29, 2015
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Congratulations, Ted Cruz! Whether you want it or not, you now have an inspiring Rap Anthem to help you become not-President, even if you’re more into country music because that’s where the polling is the genre that helped America most after 9/11....
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Thursday, May 28, 2015
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The bill to allow licensed open carry of handguns in Texas wasn’t slowed down a bit by the shootout in Waco, but it has hit a bit of a roadblock in the state legislature — police groups are lobbying to kill a clause that would prohibit cops from...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Thursday, May 28, 2015
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Oh, goody, time for another Church-n-state fight! This time, it’s in the tiny town of Florence, Colorado, population 3881, where a Jewish teacher has filed a lawsuit claiming the town’s only high school is largely a subsidiary of an evangelical Christian...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Thursday, May 28, 2015
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Oh, man, were there some red faces at the Dugway Proving Ground in Utah when it was discovered that the Army lab there had accidentally sent out live samples of anthrax to labs in six states and South Korea. Fortunately, it was just red faces, without...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Thursday, May 28, 2015
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At last, a Hillary Clinton ZOMGgate story that might actually be a thing! (Or might not. You never know with those wily Clintons, which is why it’s generally best to assume guilty until proven otherwise.) According to an exhaustive trillion-word report...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Thursday, May 28, 2015
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So George Pataki was governor of New York once upon a time, and he’s always kind of wanted to run for president one day maybe. Being a semi-sentient being with nothing better to do, he figures since he’s a Republican and everyone else is doing it,...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Thursday, May 28, 2015
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Know that civilized thing that some states in this great nation do, where they exact retribution for murder crimes by murdering the murderer right back, because we are bloodthirsty monsters? Well yay, because Nebraska has decided to stop doing that!...
From: Wonkette | By: Evan Hurst | Thursday, May 28, 2015
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Polar bears check out the USS Honolulu near the North Pole In what may be yet another victory for the Republican War on Science, the CIA is shutting down a climate research project that shared classified data with scientists with the goal of studying...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Thursday, May 28, 2015
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Just a few weeks ago, we were very excited to hear that the frothy mix of a man known as Rick Santorum was thinking of lubing up and sliding right into the 2016 Republican primaries, so that he could lose again, because his only known skill is losing....
From: Wonkette | By: Evan Hurst | Thursday, May 28, 2015
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Has it been that kind of day for you? US TOO! So let us take a breather from all the ewwwwwww gross Duggary, what we have been telling you all about, YOU’RE WELCOME, and soothe our weary souls with our favoritest thing in the world, and YOUR favoritest...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Wednesday, May 27, 2015
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All of us who are not Family Values Republicans agree on this whole “Ewwwww, Duggars, you are DIS-gusting” thing, right? RIGHT. Josh molesting his kid sisters is gross and bad and wrong; his parents hush-hushing it because their God says those whores...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Wednesday, May 27, 2015
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Here’s President Barack Obama explaining Tuesday that he’s ready to direct federal aid to Texas, which has suffered deadly flooding since the weekend, with more rain and flash flooding on the way. At least 31 people have died in storms that have...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Wednesday, May 27, 2015
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BREAKING NEWS! There was a missing detail in the accepted timeline of events surrounding Josh Duggar’s molestation of five girls, including four of his sisters. As we previously understood, the sex-criming happened in 2002 and 2003, the Duggars reported...
From: Wonkette | By: Evan Hurst | Wednesday, May 27, 2015
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Are we even remotely surprised that the oh-so-holy Family ValuesTM Duggars have been keeping a dirty secret about that time Josh Duggar repeatedly molested his sisters, and his parents knew and did not do a goddamned thing about it, except for (eventually)...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Wednesday, May 27, 2015
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By now, we all know that Josh Duggar molested some of his sisters, and we also know that — because of the Duggar family’s gross, Quiverfull, patriarchal, Christian fundamentalist, Father-Knows-Best lifestyle — if you are a girl and you are...
From: Wonkette | By: Evan Hurst | Wednesday, May 27, 2015
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Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker does not understand why you libtards do not like the nice anti-abortion bill he signed in 2013. Recently, a federal judge smacked part of it down, saying that requiring abortion doctors to have admitting privileges at a...
From: Wonkette | By: Evan Hurst | Wednesday, May 27, 2015
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Senate Republicans are really concerned about making sure women have greater access to birth control. No, really, it is true! (No, really, it is not.) From the same party that has tried for years to defund Planned Parenthood, ban certain types of birth...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Wednesday, May 27, 2015
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Hey there, former presidents of the US and A — that would be Clinton, Carter and those two Bush brats — thanks for serving your country and all by BEING PRESIDENT OF IT, but Sen. Joni Ernst (R-Pig Spaying), and her Republican friends Marco Rubio...
From: Wonkette | By: Evan Hurst | Wednesday, May 27, 2015
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Rejoice, Liberal-Americansians, for Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders (Socialist and proud of it!) officially declared on Tuesday that he is running to be president of U.S. America. Awwwwww yeah! And lest you think Sanders is just some silly vanity candidate...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Wednesday, May 27, 2015
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