Serendeputy - your personal news assistant.

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Serendeputy is your personal news assistant.

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It’s been all of three days since we checked in with horrible shell of a human being Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin and her merry band of state GOPers. A week before that, we saw them kicking the poor in the teeth again and again by banning minimum...
From: Wonkette | By: snipy | Thursday, April 24, 2014
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Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Rossiters, who are your new people to hate the mostest today. You know how everyone is going around refusing to vaccinate their kids because they’re pretty sure they know more than doctors? Those people are wimps. The...
From: Wonkette | By: snipy | Thursday, April 24, 2014
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Remember Eric Cantor? Republican from Virginia, Majority Whip for his caucus in the House, perpetually looks like a guy entering his ninth day of trying to poop out a dildo that some overly enthusiastic District hooker shoved so far up his rectum that...
From: Wonkette | By: Gary Legum | Thursday, April 24, 2014
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Raise your hand if you have ever been to Taco Bell at 2 a.m., drunk. All of you, just like we thought. It’s kind of required if you read our mommy/warblog. Now raise your hand if you have ever been arrested at a Taco Bell. Oh, just you South Florida...
From: Wonkette | By: DDM | Wednesday, April 23, 2014
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Nice try, but no cigar, lovers of science in the Pelican State. For the fourth time since the Doublespeaky “Louisiana Science Education Act” (LSEA) was passed in 2008, an attempt to repeal the law has been shot down, by a 3-1 vote in the Senate Education...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Thursday, April 24, 2014
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Hey ladies! How’s it hanging? And by “it,” I mean your engorged clitoris, which you are currently diddling because of Satan and lust and sadness and idolatry and the “void” that is your ginny. Let’s all get out our hand mirrors and hold them...
From: Wonkette | By: Rebecca Schoenkopf | Thursday, April 24, 2014
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What has the Stupidest Man on the Internet, Jim Hoft, got for us today? Besides all the other things he has for us today? WHAT DOESN’T HE HAVE! (Besides our $3150. #paythefuckup.) Take, for instance, this masterpiece, “SHOCK REPORT: Oregon Energy...
From: Wonkette | By: Rebecca Schoenkopf | Thursday, April 24, 2014
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So you got your girlfriend to let you take nekkid pictures of her, of course. So far so normal. But if you are Douglas Tarlow, whose nekkid pix were of Nina Khosla, daughter of Vinod Khosla, batrillionaire founder of Sun Microsystems, you apparently...
From: Wonkette | By: snipy | Thursday, April 24, 2014
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OK, sure, you may have thought that Gabriel García Márquez, who died last week, was a pretty good writer, but the Washington Post‘s Charles Lane just wants to remind you that García Márquez was also a communist, and entirely too close to Fidel...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Thursday, April 24, 2014
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You will probably not be surprised to learn that here at yr Wonkette we think that porn is a totally respectable way to earn a living, presuming, of course, that consent and equal power and equity and yadda yadda exist. Point is, we don’t discriminate...
From: Wonkette | By: snipy | Thursday, April 24, 2014
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In Our Great Nation’s short history, we have created many uniquely American traditions: Thanksgiving, Independence Day, Patriots’ Day, free refills on soda, and electing members of the Bush family to the White House. Jeb Bush, the Bush son who probably...
From: Wonkette | By: giggle | Thursday, April 24, 2014
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How is Barack Obama insulting America’s dignity today? Jim Hoft, the Stupidest Man on the Internet, reveals that the weak-willed absolute tyrant, whose spineless foreign policy encouraged the Russians to invade Ukraine even as he has dictatorially...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Thursday, April 24, 2014
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Here’s some welcome news! In addition to fighting to keep America safe from the nightmare of health insurance, sending out fishwives to scream at cute-milquetoast MSNBC hosts, and bringing rightwing lunacy to improvisational comedy, it would appear...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Thursday, April 24, 2014
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Jon Stewart clearly had entirely too much fun Tuesday replying to Sean Hannity’s pissy little tirade about Jon Stewart’s coverage of Hannity’s hypocritical coverage of the Bundy Ranch Freedom Cow Jamboree. Round three of the volley was just about...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Thursday, April 24, 2014
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Grazing fees scofflaw Cliven Bundy must be feeling pretty confident now that the Bureau of Land Management has backed down on seizing his cattle, he’s surrounded by his own armed militia and his heroism has earned him a three-week-long blowjob from...
From: Wonkette | By: Gary Legum | Thursday, April 24, 2014
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Oh god remember last week on Duggar Family Funtime aka 19 Kids and Counting we had to go watch a quiverfull wedding? This week we have to go to a quiverfull graduation. Truly we have done terrible things in our lives, but nothing that warrants this....
From: Wonkette | By: snipy | Thursday, April 24, 2014
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Reports are sketchy and confused, but either New Pope just tossed out centuries of dogma and tradition on divorce, or somewhere in between Argentina, Italy, England and several different publications in at least three languages, somebody or several somebodies...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Thursday, April 24, 2014
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So much happy! So little time! Sean Hannity SO MAD at Jon Stewart, SOOOO MAD! OPRAH’s ex-stepmom sounds like a real nice lady who calls her stepdaughter “ghetto,” laughs at her taste, calls her a lesbian, and then is : ( that Oprah won’t let...
From: Wonkette | By: Rebecca Schoenkopf | Wednesday, April 23, 2014
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You may recall hearing about some small fuss over the Internal Revenue Service allegedly targeting Tea Party groups for special scrutiny, because of the Obama administration’s relentless jihad against freedom? We’re pretty sure we mentioned it. And...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Wednesday, April 23, 2014
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Today, Georgians with a hyperinflated sense of ego-driven invincibility rejoiced as Governor Nathan Deal signed into law a bill that allows them to protect innocent victims virtually anywhere they wish, like when they’re drinking or when someone gives...
From: Wonkette | By: Jesse Taylor | Wednesday, April 23, 2014
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We’ve got a bit of a backlog in the ol’ comments queue, so let’s try to plow through them fairly quickly, OK? Turns out that we’re still getting a lot of comments on guns, because if there’s anything we’re clearly wrong about, it’s the...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Wednesday, April 23, 2014
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Professional Conservative Victim Sean Hannity shared his tears with the nation Tuesday night, carefully debunking Jon Stewart’s satirical commentary on Hannity’s coverage of the Great Cow Freedom Movement. You see, Jon Stewart is a “hack comedian”...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Wednesday, April 23, 2014
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I kind of feel like we shouldn’t really need a trigger warning in the headline up there, considering the word “rape” is already in it. But since we’re not going to add a trigger warning every time we post a picture of a “thin-bodied” person...
From: Wonkette | By: Rebecca Schoenkopf | Wednesday, April 23, 2014
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Now here’s an impressive-looking chart from Reuters that was all over the Twitterverse this weekend. Quick — after Florida adopted “Stand Your Ground” in 2005, did gun deaths increase or decrease? Well of course they decreased, says your brain,...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Wednesday, April 23, 2014
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A new ad implies that South Carolina’s Democratic candidate for governor, Vincent Sheheen, advocates punching your girlfriend in the face. Allegedly, Sheheen is not just soft on crime, he actually sides with criminals, supporting your right to rape...
From: Wonkette | By: giggle | Wednesday, April 23, 2014
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Jon Stewart gets at the very important issue of sexism in politics with “breaking news from the inside of another human being” — that is, Chelsea Clinton’s Politically Meaningful Baby, the grandchild that could make all the difference for Hillary...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Wednesday, April 23, 2014
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The unknown mayor of Peoria, Illinois, has gotten the memo: Abusing power is super awesome, so everyone should totes start doing it, RIGHT NOW. Mayor Jim Ardis, whom no one outside of Peoria has ever heard of, would like everyone to know that he REALLY...
From: Wonkette | By: giggle | Wednesday, April 23, 2014
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There are literally tens of reasons for you to clicky clicky these Happy Nice Time links this afternoon, all of which have to do with making sure people give us monies, so get going, please. Why not start with Tim Tebow looking as swollen and masculine...
From: Wonkette | By: snipy | Tuesday, April 22, 2014
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Here’s some very measured, very partial Nice Time for you nice people! The National Rifle Association, according to a piece by Laura Bassett and Christina Wilkie at the Huffington Post, is quietly backing away from one part of its “never restrict...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Tuesday, April 22, 2014
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We’d like to do a little customer service satisfaction survey. Do you find dealing with Time Warner Cable, which is probably your broadband provider if Comcast is not, the most awful thing you can imagine or only in the top ten? Haha it doesn’t matter...
From: Wonkette | By: snipy | Tuesday, April 22, 2014
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So you remember how Cow Freedom Hero Nevada Rancher Cliven Bundy’s family has been on the land that they stole fair and square from the Indians since the 1870s and therefore all of his rights to graze his cattle predate any dumb “Bureau of Land Management”...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Tuesday, April 22, 2014
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Here’s how “cray-cray” the “conventional wisdom” has “gotten” for the 2014 midterms: according to our pals at Talking Points Memo, it’s apparently really bold and out-there that Pennsylvania Rep. Allyson Schwartz is actually running on...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Tuesday, April 22, 2014
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One reason America’s never come to grips with its racist-nationalist past is Americans are pointedly encouraged not to know a nationalist racist when they see one. One can scarcely write the word ‘Nazi’ online without angry writs from comments-section...
From: Wonkette | By: Ron Garmon | Tuesday, April 22, 2014
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We breathed a sigh of relief when Jon Stewart returned from vacation to finally finally finally give the Bundy Ranch nonsense the tongue-lashing it deserved, and we’re equally grateful that Stephen Colbert has finally returned to deal with the confoundingly...
From: Wonkette | By: snipy | Tuesday, April 22, 2014
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Fox News has uncovered chilling evidence that Bamz is running the least transparent, most fascist administration EVAH. America’s top spy, or department head, James Clapper has attacked freedom, by writing a strongly worded memo addressed to employees...
From: Wonkette | By: giggle | Tuesday, April 22, 2014
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Sun’s out guns out, Staten Island! Behold Saint Ronald of the Rippling Biceps, Vanquisher of Russia and Crusher of Pull-Up Sets, conveniently located next to A Vape Lounge, where all the cool kids are vaping right now and you’re not even invited....
From: Wonkette | By: Dan Weber | Tuesday, April 22, 2014
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In today’s latest example of why primary elections mean that we can’t have nice things, Georgia Rep. Jack Kingston (R-Waffle House) has decided that he is NOT losing his chance at Saxby Chambliss’s Senate seat just because he once said that there...
From: Wonkette | By: Dan Weber | Tuesday, April 22, 2014
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You know what’s cool? Mob rule. Mob rule is the new hottness. Fuck state legislatures. Fuck the courts. Screw representative democracy. Just put your votes to the people, and if the people happen to decide that they do not really dig on the gays having...
From: Wonkette | By: snipy | Tuesday, April 22, 2014
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Sure, there’s your Glenn Becks and your Alex Joneses, but let’s never discount the pure joy of good old-fashioned batshit fundagelical craziness, and by that, we mean Pat Robertson, who 700 Clubbed us Tuesday with the news that any moment now, God...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Tuesday, April 22, 2014
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How’d you guys spend Easter? Dinner with the family? Avoiding dinner with the family? Being a heathen or a Jew? No matter, because now you’re sad that you did not celebrate Easter chopping wood, like Jesus did (carpenters chopped their own wood,...
From: Wonkette | By: snipy | Tuesday, April 22, 2014
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Seven weeks into the Great Cosmos Reboot — the halfway point, yay! — and Neil deGrasse Tyson is still insisting that science is real. What is with this guy? This week’s episode, “The Clean Room,” starts off with some pretty blatant science-based...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Tuesday, April 22, 2014
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Jon Stewart is back from break, and not a moment too soon, because we’ve needed his sanity on the Great Nevada Cow Freedom Standoff of 2014. Or as Stewart calls it, “your standard boy has cow, boy breaks law for 20 years, boy loses cow story.”...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Tuesday, April 22, 2014
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We know everyone within the Wonkette universe has complicated feels about floor wax/dessert topping Edward Snowden, but a new story about the Libertarian Man of Mystery has totally blown our minds, and now we don’t know what to think. If this newest...
From: Wonkette | By: Gary Legum | Tuesday, April 22, 2014
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