Serendeputy - your personal news assistant.

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Yesterday we brought you the odd story of the Disappearing John Kasich Video, in which we learned that the Cleveland Plain Dealer’s corporate overlords, Northeast Ohio Media Group, (call ‘em “NEOMG,” because “Ni! OMG!” is fun to say) had...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Wednesday, October 29, 2014
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Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell may not be a scientist, but he is a likable, funny human being-type person. Why, just look at all of his clever ads that prove it! Like this ad, where Mitch McConnell talks about ads. So human! So funny!...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Wednesday, October 29, 2014
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Hey, ladies of Wisconsin! With the election that decides his political future coming up next week, your feminist hero Gov. Scott Walker has remembered that you’re allowed to vote, just in time for him to to put one of your kind on TV to make a not-at-all...
From: Wonkette | By: Beth Ethier | Wednesday, October 29, 2014
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Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman. Actually, it’s hard most of the time — thanks, MEN — but it’s especially hard if you’re a woman running for office: Last week, a statewide official in Georgia accused Democratic Senate candidate Michelle...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Wednesday, October 29, 2014
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This guy. Jesus, this guy. Republican Bruce Rauner, who has more money than God and a better wine collection too, wants to be the next dude to get evicted from the Illinois governor’s mansion and sent to prison. (That’s what happens to all of them,...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Wednesday, October 29, 2014
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Here’s a nifty little tale about that time the United States government worked with Nazis — actual Nazis, not the hyperbolic “Obama is just like Hitler” kind. In the decades after World War II, the C.I.A. and other United States agencies employed...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Tuesday, October 28, 2014
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This is you: “I want to dress up for Halloween but I’m lazy and have bad ideas. Can you help?” Probably not, but let’s take a crack at it anyway. Here are nine “easy” costume ideas for you to briefly consider before you just give up and go...
From: Wonkette | By: Alex Ruthrauff | Thursday, October 30, 2014
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On Tuesday, Floridians have an important decision to make at the polls. No, not whether they prefer Medicare fraudster Rick “Bat Boy” Scott or walking bottle of bronzer Charlie Crist as their next governor. We’re thinking of a much more important...
From: Wonkette | By: Gary Legum | Thursday, October 30, 2014
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Damn those feminists and their lies about “rape” and “sexual assault” and the “war on women” and other “things” Democrats say just to get people to vote for them. Because we all know that “hey, did you know rape is a thing?” is a...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Thursday, October 30, 2014
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Here’s where we are in America 2014: Scared shitless of a disease that isn’t actually harming us, but that is killing thousands in Africa. The best way to make America safe is to bring Ebola under control in Africa, but now that we’re determined...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Thursday, October 30, 2014
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In August, Moms Demand Action For Gun Sense began pressuring Kroger, the nation’s largest supermarket chain, to revise its policy of letting insecure manchildren carry loaded guns in their stores. Now the confrontation is getting delightfully wacky:...
From: Wonkette | By: Alex Ruthrauff | Thursday, October 30, 2014
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Sometimes, when I read the Twitter, I feel myself morphing into Andrea Peyser or the dudes on Fox News. Case in point! The “catcall” video from evvvvery day, alllll week, which everybody is very SEE!???! about. There is much outrage from our feminist...
From: Wonkette | By: Rebecca Schoenkopf | Thursday, October 30, 2014
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The Daily Show has a new advertiser, and it is Koch Industries, owned by those “lovable scamps” Charles and David. Jon Stewart graciously and very sincerely welcomes the new sponsor, who is simply trying to appeal to Stewart’s “not yet dying”...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Thursday, October 30, 2014
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Bill O’Reilly is getting pretty sick and tired of the Obama administration refusing to follow Bill O’Reilly’s “common sense” advice on Ebola. First, Dr. Tom Frieden, the director of the Centers for Disease Control, refused to go on O’Reilly’s...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Thursday, October 30, 2014
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Olds. They are always burning up your phone like “how do I get to the Wonkette.com?” and “what’s a url?” and “oh no I accidentally attempted to rape a young lady while the Skype was skypeing and the police saw the Skype and now I am IN JAIL!”...
From: Wonkette | By: Rebecca Schoenkopf | Thursday, October 30, 2014
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Ugly bag of mostly bile Chris Christie did some brave yelling at a guy during an appearance in Belmar, New Jersey, to mark the second anniversary of Hurricane Sandy on Wednesday. Where sometimes your Barry Bamz politely says he respects protesters’...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Thursday, October 30, 2014
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Lindsey Graham, the senator from South Carolina, has always seemed content to be the third wheel, the sidekick, the woman behind behind the man. He was the weakest, most soft-spoken link in the ménage à trois that was John McCain and Joe Lieberman,...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Thursday, October 30, 2014
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Rachel Maddow took a trip to the Man Cave (or the green screen version of one) Wednesday night to debunk a deeply held article of faith about one form of birth control that could be outlawed if Colorado passes its third try at a “personhood amendment.”...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Thursday, October 30, 2014
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We have read through this new column by walking foreskin Dr. Keith Ablow about four times now in the hope that we will reach a point where it does not make us want to smash our own face with a tack hammer. Sadly, we have failed. So sorry, face!...
From: Wonkette | By: Gary Legum | Wednesday, October 29, 2014
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An unmanned Antares rocket exploded seconds after liftoff from a facility in Virginia yesterday, with the total loss of a payload of food, water, and scientific experiments bound for the International Space Station. It was pretty spectacular:...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Wednesday, October 29, 2014
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Nothing like a little week-before-the-election chaos. In Georgia, where activists say that some 40,000 newly registered voters’ names do not yet appear on the state’s database, a judge denied a petition Tuesday requesting that the secretary of state...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Wednesday, October 29, 2014
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Business Insider reports Swedish fuckstick maker Lelo has a new product exclusively for bankers, for whom your standard neoprene (?) 18-inch black double-donger just isn’t sexclusive enough. Here’s why, from the company:...
From: Wonkette | By: Rebecca Schoenkopf | Wednesday, October 29, 2014
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In a shocking display of Political Correctness Run Amok, a high school in Maryland has banned a student’s father from campus simply because he threatened to “bring down a shit-storm” on the school unless his daughter’s World History class eliminated...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Wednesday, October 29, 2014
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Remember when the Secret Service couldn’t stop visiting prostitutes, and then some poor kid from the White House advance team couldn’t stop visiting prostitutes, and it was obviously Obama’s fault coverupbenghaziworsethanwatergate? Of course you...
From: Wonkette | By: Rebecca Schoenkopf | Wednesday, October 29, 2014
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Rachel Maddow was in Denver for a live broadcast Tuesday night. Warning: It’s a little weird to watch the news with an audience applauding and cheering in the background. The highlight (ha!) of the episode was Maddow’s visit to a dispensary of “recreational...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Wednesday, October 29, 2014
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It’s been one brain-basher of a week, and it’s only Tuesday. So take a minute to watch this terrific little “Best New Thing in the World” clip about how ceremonial first pitches usually suck — there’s even a Washington Post chart to prove...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Tuesday, October 28, 2014
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Ever since Our Lady of Meth-Colored Lipstick quit her job to pursue a reality teevee career because only dead fish serve a full term as governor, we have a-hoped and a-prayed that Sarah Palin would one day run for being in office of something again one...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Tuesday, October 28, 2014
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Pope Francis gave a lot of fundagelicals a sad Monday when he restated a fairly simple tenet of Catholic belief: There’s no contradiction between faith and science, particularly the theory of evolution and the Big Bang....
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Tuesday, October 28, 2014
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We are now into the last week of the midterm campaign, by which point the candidates and parties traditionally have long given up any remaining shreds of dignity or pretense that the election has anything to do with such high-falutin’ concepts as “ideas”...
From: Wonkette | By: Gary Legum | Tuesday, October 28, 2014
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So here’s a heck of a thing: The Cleveland Plain Dealer newspaper just loves Ohio Gov. John Kasich. In 2010, it endorsed Kasich, seeing in him a candidate “given to Reagan-style optimism and bold, sometimes questionable, ideas.” The editorial board...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Tuesday, October 28, 2014
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Here is Stuart Varney on Fox Business today, yapping his elegant lippy about something, do not care, did not watch. But what is that chyron beneath him (which is, unaccountably, all spelled correctly and without discernible factual errors)? It is “just...
From: Wonkette | By: Rebecca Schoenkopf | Tuesday, October 28, 2014
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David Perdue would really like to be Georgia’s next U.S. Senator, but it seems he has a few problems with the ladies, as in he is polling really badly with them, compared to opponent Michelle Nunn. For a state with no Democrats in statewide offices,...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Tuesday, October 28, 2014
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In the rightwing world, there are a lot of things that are HI-larious and worthy of mockery. Encouraging kids to carve a coal plant in their pumpkins to really stick it to these tree-huggers at the Department of Energy? Funny! Calling a lady jet fighter...
From: Wonkette | By: Kaili Joy Gray | Tuesday, October 28, 2014
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Since Barack Obama stubbornly insists on listening to public health experts instead of Fox News, it’s become quite clear that wingnuts’ favored non-solution, a ban on travel from West Africa, isn’t going to happen. Happily, a few governors figured...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Tuesday, October 28, 2014
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Get ready to be angry, kids. Monday night, Rachel Maddow interviewed Ryan Boyko, a Yale PhD student in Public Health, who is one of about eight people put on quarantine by order of Connecticut Gov. Dannel P. Malloy. Not because Boyko has Ebola, and not...
From: Wonkette | By: Doktor Zoom | Tuesday, October 28, 2014
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If you are anything like us, you have recently been wondering what happened to the plan by the House’s Rabid Ferret Caucus to sue the bejesus out of President Obama for moving around some deadlines to implement parts of the Affordable Care Act. (And...
From: Wonkette | By: Gary Legum | Tuesday, October 28, 2014
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